GREYHAIRLADYSPEAKSOUT

Mail Order Bride Meets Bible Study, (eMail Order Bride might be a better Title)

Because even holy hearts get tired of awkward dating apps.

After reading what felt like a million profiles, I decided it was time to poke a little fun at the whole online dating scene. As a widow trying to navigate it all, sometimes it’s just… well -plain funny. There are moments that make me laugh, moments that make me sigh, and moments where I whisper a quiet prayer for humanity, usually all in the same scroll. Somehow, in the middle of all that chaos, I’m supposed to find a Godly man who actually matches my faith, my sense of humor, and my love of snacks. Not exactly simple. (…but maybe I do find him!).

Let’s laugh a little at the lookers, guys and girls alike…Keep in mind as you read, I am wearing many hats reflecting various perspectives as I write this post, hers, his and the local pastor, and then some comments are uniquely mine…just lightening the mood of online dating.

The Proverbs 31 Adventurer: Mail Order Bride

He saw her profile one late night, after a long week. You know the type: “She looks well to the ways of her household and eats not the bread of idleness.” Impressive, right? Then he scrolled further:

• Must love Scripture.
• Must plan virtual Bible studies.
• Must have a passport ready at all times.

He paused. (Hmm, as I read this I wonder do I even own a passport? Have I ever eaten bread of idleness? And why does she make long-distance devotionals seem… romantic?)

She’s bold. She’s prayerful. She swipes for adventure, not small talk. She wants your favorite psalm and your go-to missionary story. (Honestly, I admire that. Secretly, I want to be brave like her. But mostly… I just hope I survive the profile without fainting).

Pastor’s Footnote: “Prayer + plane ticket = divine matchmaking. And yes, pack snacks. Always snacks.”

The Ecclesiastes Strategist: An Arranged Marriage

Then there’s the family-approved, Spirit-led profile. “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.”

Family-approved? Check. Spirit-led? Check. Willing to sit through awkward Sunday coffees with parents to meet your family? Absolutely. She values stability, faith alignment, and patience, and she’s not afraid to tell you that love sometimes grows best when God handles the logistics (and maybe the seating chart).

Scrolling through her profile, he pictures himself nervously pouring coffee for her parents, silently praying his spiritual resume measures up, and maybe laughing to hide his nerves. (Some things you just can’t rehearse, and that’s part of the charm.)

Pastor’s Footnote: “Parents aren’t God, but they do have a pretty decent beta version of your future spouse. Pray, then listen… or at least pretend to.”

Modern Christian Tinder: Swipe Holy, Not Lonely

And then there’s Mr. Perfect, coffee in one hand, Bible in the other, swiping through profiles like a detective armed with prayer and curiosity.

Some highlights from recent swipes:

• “Proverbs 31 in training.”
• “Spiritually ready, Wi-Fi challenged.”
• “Let’s worship and maybe get tacos?”

(Yes. All of that- in principle can be real.) Every swipe is a little mix of hope, curiosity, and mild exasperation. (Some profiles make me laugh so hard I forget to pray first. Others make me sigh, muttering, “God, seriously?”)  But he swipes anyway, hoping that somewhere under the emojis, typos, and questionable profile pics, there’s a heart seeking God as she is seeking a godly man.

Now Notes from the Author:

True Confessions from the Swipe Side

• I’ve prayed over a bio more than a sermon.
• I’ve cried over an emoji.
• I’ve laughed at a guy who claimed he was “spiritually ready but socially awkward” and then messaged him anyway.
• I’ve joined a Zoom Bible study that turned into a debate over coffee orders.
• I’ve met someone in person who looked nothing like their profile picture.

OK, maybe I made all the confessions up, but they could be real. Yes, Christian dating online, or just plain dating on line, is messy. Awkward. Funny. Sometimes exhausting. But somewhere in all the swipes, prayers, and facepalms, there’s hope. There’s joy. There’s God, quietly guiding hearts even through the chaos.

Takeaway: Laugh at the profiles. Pray through the awkward first dates. And remember love isn’t found in a perfect swipe, it’s found when your heart is honest, your faith is real, and God is invited to the table (or the Zoom call). And yes… snacks are mandatory.